Grief is hard. It’s unpredictable, messy, and doesn’t follow a schedule. This month, I’ve found myself in a strange place—navigating emotions that feel heavy and inescapable. A very dear friend recently passed away, and my heart has been weighed down by the loss.
I know it’s December, the beginning of the holiday season—a time that’s supposed to be filled with joy and celebration. But my heart has felt far from festive. Instead, I’ve been reflecting on what grief has been teaching me and today, I share my heart with you.
I’ve been meditating on Stephen in Acts chapter 6 and 7 since Pastor Nana’s sermon on Sunday. His story has resonated with me deeply. Stephen’s life and death remind me of the weight of loss but also of the hope that anchors us in faith.
Stephen was remarkable. The Bible describes him as anointed, wise, and filled with the Holy Spirit. Though appointed to a humble role of serving food, he performed miracles and signs, demonstrating God’s power even in ordinary tasks. People loved him, and his wisdom left the Sanhedrin unable to argue against him. But their admiration turned to hostility. They lied about him, brought false charges, and accused him of blasphemy.
I imagine people asking, “Where was God in all this?” Here was a man devoted to serving God, performing miracles, and living faithfully. Surely God would intervene. Surely He would defend His servant and teach the accusers a lesson. But instead, Stephen was brought before the council, and despite his powerful testimony, they were enraged. He was sentenced to death by stoning—a brutal, agonizing fate.
As I reflect on this, my human inclination is to ask, “Lord, how could you let someone who served you so faithfully endure such a horrible end?” Death by stoning is unimaginable. From where I stand, it looks like Stephen was abandoned, like God didn’t show up for him when it mattered the most. I can’t help but think I might have been shaken in my faith if I’d been there, watching helplessly as he was dragged to his death.
But God was there. He always is. In the good times and the bad. Even in that moment of unimaginable pain, God didn’t fail Stephen. He opened Stephen’s eyes to see a glory far greater than anything this world could offer. Stephen saw Jesus standing at the right hand of God, a vision of reassurance and welcome. Even as the stones rained down, Stephen knew he wasn’t alone. God was with him, ready to receive him home.
This makes me wonder about the final moments of my dear friend. Did they see your glory, Lord? Did you show them something so beautiful, so compelling, that all the comforts of this world faded in comparison? While those of us here mourn deeply, they transitioned joyfully into your presence.
It’s hard to process loss on this side of eternity. All I can see is the pain and the questions. But Stephen’s story reminds me that even in the midst of suffering, God’s goodness remains. Stephen’s life and death were a testimony to God’s faithfulness. He is a rewarder of those who seek Him, but we must let the rewarder choose the reward. We can’t dictate the form it should take.
I’ve been praying for answers since this loss, asking God to help me make sense of it. Pastor Nana’s sermon was an answer to that prayer. It reminded me that grief doesn’t negate God’s goodness. He is a good, good Father. He was good in Stephen’s story. He was good in my friend’s story. And He is good in every story, even when I don’t understand it.
So my prayer in this season is this: Lord, open the eyes of my heart. Let me see you. Teach me to look beyond what’s happening around me and see Your heart, Your glory, Your presence. Open my eyes as You did Stephen’s, and help me remember that You are always good. Amen.
